


Second Best

by dizzy



Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-04-07
Updated: 2003-04-07
Packaged: 2018-03-04 14:14:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3071165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dizzy/pseuds/dizzy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>My first attempt at writing Elijah... I don't focus on him too much, so I sort of felt like I was walking into this blindly.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Second Best

**Author's Note:**

> My first attempt at writing Elijah... I don't focus on him too much, so I sort of felt like I was walking into this blindly.

Elijah knows that he's second best in Dom's eyes. He doesn't pretend not to care. But he knows what his choices are, and it really doesn't leave him any choice at all. If he's not with Dom, he thinks, he'll die. He'll melt into a puddle of lonely Elijah, right there on the sidewalk, for people to step over or around. Poor little lonely Elijah, they'll say, he was such a nice boy until that nasty Dominic left him.

He's pretty sure that there's only one reason that Dom would leave him. And it's not really much of a reason at all, so he's not very worried about it. Dominic's body will be his, because Dom is the kind of person that needs to be loved, and Elijah is more than willing to love him. It's his mind that Elijah knows he'll never be able to quite wrap himself around, and his heart, of course, Dom's heart is off limits entirely. But most of the time, Elijah's content with what he does have - Dom's friendship and his companionship and, yes, his body, even thought that's not the only reason that Elijah loves Dom.

The only time that Elijah feels truly insecure is when Billy's around, and since Dom is in LA now, that's not very often. Except for the summer, when Billy was in Mexico and Dominic's world shrunk to weekends and surfing and driving hours to be there and not wanting to leave ever. Dominic's world was too small for Elijah, then, except sometimes during the week when Dom's frustration mounted and Elijah was there to give him what he couldn't get from Billy and the weekend. Elijah was glad when summer was over and Dominic's world expanded enough for him again.

Dom doesn't try and throw it in his face, that Elijah is second best. He doesn't really have to. It's just something that's always there, lingering between them. Dom has never called him Billy in bed. Never even hinted that he'd rather it be Billy gasping and writhing underneath him. Elijah appreciates that, even if Dom's eyes say plainly what remains unspoken.

Elijah tries not to hold it against Billy. It's not Billy's fault, after all. Billy never asked for Dom's love. Poor bastard probably doesn't even know that he has it. Poor, lucky bastard. He just takes it for granted, that Dom acts that way around all of his mates. Looks at all of them with that bright eyed, eager, adoring expression. And it's hard for Elijah. It's hard for him to look at Billy and still smile, wondering what makes them so different. Wondering what Billy has that Elijah doesn't, what makes Dom love him more. Elijah almost resents Billy, even though he knows he shouldn't and it's not right or fair. He has to work to like Billy. But Billy likes him, and it makes Elijah feel guilty.

When did it all change, Elijah tries to figure out. Was it one incident, one specific thing that initially tilted the scales in one direction, then another. And was it just chance that made Elijah's scales tilt towards Dominic, and Dominic's toward Billy? And, yes, Billy, whose scales are so carefully guarded that no one knows which way they tilt. Or if they even tilt at all. Maybe Billy is the perfect balance, Elijah thinks. He wonders what it would take to unbalance Billy. Elijah hopes that he never finds out. He hopes even more that Dom never does.

Second best is new for him. He's never been second best before. It took some getting used to. All his life, as far back as he can remember, at least, he's been Elijah the Star. Elijah the Actor. He's been praised and rewarded and treated with the utmost care, almost reverently. He's always been first on everybody's list. He's never been first on Dom's. He wonders sometimes if maybe that's not the reason that he sticks around. It keeps him in touch with reality, keeps his feet on the ground. Dom won't coddle him. Dom won't take orders. No one forces Dom to do anything.

Dom thinks Elijah's lifestyle has made him spoiled. Dom fights to make him prove that it hasn't. Elijah likes it. It's almost like a challenge. And it proves to him that Dom cares. Not that Elijah needs proof. He knows that Dom cares. Caring just isn't the same as loving.

Elijah thinks a lot, and he wonders a lot, and he's come to the conclusion that he can live with being second best, as long as second best means still having Dominic.


End file.
